


my mid-youth crisis all said and done

by askmeaboutmyoctopustheory



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Avengers Compound, Bucky Barnes Recovering, F/M, Miscommunication, Multi, Natasha Romanov Is Not A Robot, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-01-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:08:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22111597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/askmeaboutmyoctopustheory/pseuds/askmeaboutmyoctopustheory
Summary: Bucky has a bit of a misunderstanding when observing Peter and Natasha
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Natasha Romanov (past), sam/steve implied kinda, winterhawk in the distance oop
Comments: 6
Kudos: 57





	my mid-youth crisis all said and done

**Author's Note:**

> ok this is an extremely specific trope that i have built from a few fanfics that i've read but i honestly cannot remember which ones
> 
> anyway!!!! there are references to Hydra/Red Room canonical non-consensual bodily modifications!!! be safe!!
> 
> working title was "Bucky's heterosexual panic"
> 
> find me on twitter @_AMAMOT

Bucky’s arrival at the compound was tense for everyone involved. His memory was fuzzy at best but he was pretty sure he had some not-great history with Wilson, Stark still wasn’t looking him in the eye, and he hadn’t even seen the Widow again since the airport.

Still, he took the spare room in Steve’s apartment and tried to participate in team activities and be a normal human. He started carrying around another notebook to write down stuff that he remembered. Any progress he had made in Bucharest had been wiped when Zemo used the words. Steve had the most memories associated with him, so most of the notebook was filled with memories of early Brooklyn and a skinny kid getting into fights. Some of them were of nights playing poker with the Commandos or ganging up to tease Steve with Peggy. 

Other, more painful memories resurfaced as well. He now remembered how long he had resisted conditioning in HYDRA’s clutches. He remembered shooting Howard point-blank. He remembered his history with Natalia and apologized and they both cried a bit. She didn’t seem too keen on rekindling any of their romantic history, so Bucky let the matter rest unless something else came up.

And it turned out, something else turned up in the shape of a boisterous and overeager young man. The kid went by the superhero name of Spider-man and was one of the Avengers who was on call. He was loud and Bucky shrank back to his corner when he first came to the compound’s living area one weekend. He was doing fine until he heard Natasha say “little spider” and for Peter to call her “mama spider”. Even more startling, they did so in Russian, despite the boy showing no signs of an accent.

His mind was racing as he mentally calculated the kid’s age. Peter couldn’t be more than 20, Bucky had trained Nat around that time frame. Was… Was the spiderkid  _ his _ kid?? He knew he was spiraling but he couldn’t help it when he pounded on Steve’s door.

“Stevie!!” He pounded with his metal fist. “STEVE!”

“Buck!! Hey you’re ok, you’re safe. What’s wrong?” Steve came flying out of his room, all full of eyes concerned for Bucky and he felt his stomach twist.

“Just…” Bucky flailed. “Had a bad dream.” He lied

Steve smiled knowingly and Bucky felt awful when Steve went into his bedroom and roused Sam from his slumber. Bucky blushed a bit as they both put on shirts and joined him in the kitchen. He made up some story about a bad dream and let himself be therapized a bit, all the while thinking of any other way to try and see if he could find out more about Peter and Nat’s relationship without giving too much away.

Which is why the next day he geared up and headed down to the shooting range where he knew Barton was practicing. Natasha and Clint were partners, meeting around the time she defected from the Red Room. Surely he would know the history between Natasha and the younger spider.

They stood in lanes shooting in tandem, Clint’s arm drawing the bow back in time with Bucky reloading his magazine. After a while of shooting silently, Bucky broke the silence in what he hoped was a casual manner.

“What d’you think about the Spiderling?” Bucky said as he grabbed a drink of water. 

“Peter?” Clint said as he too rested for a moment. “He’s a good kid, deserves having some good in his life.”   
  
“Whaddya mean?” Bucky tilted his head a bit.

“Orphaned kid, raised by his overbearing but honestly kinda hot aunt, has to go against Captain America in his first ever fight?”   
  
Bucky nodded along, all the while noting the evidence piling up in Peter’s story. His “aunt” could easily be a SHIELD agent, undercover no doubt to hide the fact that this child was the product of two superspies. He could have been fed a lie from his birth about his parents being killed, thus leaving no ties to living relatives. 

Bucky knew he needed to talk to Natalia but he didn’t know what to say. He was stressed and worked up and ultimately blurted it all out at the most wrong moment possible while there were a few of them playing pool in the common area.

“Is Peter our kid?” He asked hurriedly as he saw Nat lining up a shot.

All movement around the pool table stopped and the assembled crowd turned to look at Bucky. Natasha had an unreadable expression on her face, Steve looked worried, while the others just looked somewhere between confused and intensely interested. 

“Alright, let’s give ‘em some space.” Bucky heard Steve mutter, as he himself still felt uncomfortably pinned under Natasha’s gaze.

When they were alone, Nat finally broke her stoic face into a crumpled expression and Bucky rushed forward to comfort her.

“I’m sorry I didn’t remember sooner-”   
  
“No!” Nat said, cutting him off. She breathed in heavily. “No, he’s not my kid or yours or any of our biological children.”

“Then-”   
  
“You… no ok. Of course you don’t remember.” Natasha seemed to scold herself. “Did you ever learn about the graduation ceremony for the Red Room?”   
  
“I-” Bucky frowned. “I don’t know. I don’t remember it if I did”

“I can’t have children.” Nat said blankly. “Honestly I’d be surprised if you could, but it would be harder to prove that a kid was yours than any Red Room agent’s.”

“So…” Bucky scrunched up his face.

“Peter isn’t our bastard child who you need to compensate for.” Natasha said with a knowing smile. 

“Why do you call him little spider? In Russian?” Bucky pressed the one loose end of his theory that he had.

Natalia just shrugged. “He’s taking Russian, both of our codenames have to do with spiders.”   
  
“Oh.” was all Bucky could say. “I’m sorry I’m-”   
  
“Hey,  _ zima. _ ” She said gently. “I think this was about more than Peter. You needed closure.”   
  
“Don’t you start therapizing me too.” he joked weakly. “Thank you though.”   
  
“I get it.” She smiled again. “I’ll help you with whatever I can with your memory issues, but I can tell you that it was pretty much purely physical between us.”   
  
“I know.”

“Ok, now are you ready to talk about the way you look at Barton or is that another conversation?”


End file.
